Something about my brain wiring/chemistry makes me both a good engineer and a harsh critic of human systems. I compulsively catalog the ways shit can go sideways via mistake, neglect, greed, or malice. While I don't cultivate specific paranoias or conspiracy theories, I am hyperaware of dark patterns concentrating power: myriad lines of manipulation, nonconsensual extraction of value, foisting of risk, abstraction and evasion of responsibility. Despite the automatic nature of such analysis, it is tiring and often discouraging. More than that: it feeds deep despair and rage over the small fraction of assholes ruining it for everyone else. It is a fire that has been growing since I was a teen. Sometimes it's clear how to direct that energy into active compassion—but usually it just burns and I don't know what else to do with it. By design, those in control are nearly immune to legal activism. In the interim I continue to vote, tithe to worthy causes, and care for people around me the best I can—hoping it will mitigate some of the imbalance in the world.
2020-03-03
By Val Delane
This work is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0